EXPECT NOTHING

Every morning, my mother, grandmother and I have our daily talk. Lately, my my moms boyfriend has been included because he now lives here. This morning the topic of chose was fathers and their involvement with their child's life. I unlike many children never care about not having a father in my life. The man who I should consider my father is now a man who I no longer care for. Don't get me wrong, I never hated him no matter what I was told about him. I had a lot of respect for him. This past summer, I was forced by my mother and others to try to continue a relationship with him. Especially since what happened in Haiti. He was stuck in Haiti's White House when they had the Earthquake. So, after listening to others, I went all the way to Haiti. While in Haiti I got the run around and on the last minute he told me he couldn't come to see me. Mind you, we were 30 minutes apart whereas we are usually 4 hours! In addition, he also told me he did care to see me.

If this was some one else who cared about their dad they would have been so crushed. I however, sucked up my pride and kept it moving. He proved to me and everyone else what I already knew about him. He is a selfish, single-minded coward. And because of my dad, I expect nothing from man but honesty, and thats even hard to find.

When I was younger, my Uncle Francois always knew writing was in my blood and in my heart. Now that I am 25 I finally see in myself what he saw. Writing has become my career not a job. Many people wake up hating what they have to do, but I get to wake up choosing if I want to work and what I want to do. Unlike others who are assigned jobs. Sometimes, you may not believe in yourself, but if you have some one at least someone who does that is all you need. Because when you get to show them what they always saw you in you, it makes you feel so complete. My Uncle has been through so much and he is the golden child. He is the kind of man I wanna marry and have the father of my children.

For the New Year I am not making any resolutions, because this past week I have lived my life with no expectations or no requirements. And it has been going beyond great. Sometimes when you have these expectations of you who are suppose to be because of what others tell you, you forget who you are or you want to be. Be yourself! And remember to use THE VOICE WITHIN!

xO